STORIES OF MY EARLY MARRIED LIFE IN SPRINGTIDE

A NEW BEGINNING

In between tears, she was sorely disappointed that she did not have a perfect wedding day that she had prayed so hard for – all because of the rain. She was very upset with God that night. I had married a perfectionist – everything must be perfect. Ask some of the Sunday school teachers who knew her well and they will tell you that she would rehearse her lessons many times over. At home I noticed she would practice her lesson in front of an empty audience. That’s how serious she was! So when the once-in-a-lifetime perfect wedding was ruined by the rain, she was really devastated. I kid you not – she was very depressed that night. So how did I handled such a crisis?

Honestly, for a moment I froze not knowing what to do. I tried to comfort her, put my arms around her, and let her cry her heart out. I am no counselor but I did it because I don’t know what else to do. That’s not what I envisaged a romantic wedding night should be! Anyway, after all her crying she began to calm down, and I began to talk to her. I did not know where I got the idea or the thoughts but I began to talk of all the good things that happened in the preparation of our wedding. I told her that there are also wonderful memories of the wedding that we can think of –more than enough money to pay off our expenses, beautiful flower arrangements at such a low price, wonderful dance presentations, and family and friends who braved the rain to make sure they got to our wedding reception. There were more things to thank God for than to be angry about the rain that happened that day. I told her that people were happy to be there at our wedding and we were surrounded by family and friends who loved us and cared for us.

Well, all wells that ends well! We went to sleep in each other’s arms. End of story!

The next morning we woke up to a bright new beginning – Monday! The late Pastor Martin Kumar came with the church van to pick us up for breakfast and then to our little love nest. I remember giving him some money to help him in his plan to attend YWAM School of Discipleship from the extra that we had (after setting aside all that we needed for settling our wedding expenses). That’s the beginning of the man’s journey into ministry and we were proud to be a part of it. He went on to be a wonderful pastor for the most part of his life until the Lord called him home months before my wife was taken home.

SNAKES, STAIRCASES, AND BOGGLE

There were so many memories made during our stay in the 12 Rooms Mansion called Springtide Hotel. They were actually called Shanghai-style bedrooms – where all the bathrooms were downstairs. Let me try to explain: the upstairs has 6 bedrooms and when you enter each of the rooms, you have the sleeping area like any hotel; the only difference was that the attached bathroom was within the room, but downstairs. You actually have to go down a flight of stairs to the bathroom.

You can asked all those who had stayed or used those rooms to verify and they will tell you that the stairs down to the bathroom were steep, and if you missed your step, you will certainly be going down many steps on your buttocks accompanied with screams. And because the rooms were not sound proof you can actually hear the sound of someone going down the steps of the staircase of the bathroom on their buttocks! I had many experiences and so did Ean Beng, Mee Thiew, Thean Khee, and Chong Leang; even the YWAMers who stayed here on their outreach had similar experiences. There was always lots of laughter when we hear those familiar sounds.

The Hotel was not exactly very livable and it was actually a wooden structure. Since it was near the beach and the unoccupied surrounding land was filled with overgrown weeds, it became a breeding ground for snakes. One of the memories was the number of snakes that appeared all over the place. One day I heard a scream from my wife as she was going down the stairs into the bathroom to bathe. I rushed over to see what happened, and to my horror, I saw a snake hanging on the door knob of the bathroom door. I had to get rid of the snake. Another time, a cobra suddenly came out of a covered drain and I nearly stepped on it. I was still young then, so my reflexes were very quick – I literally jumped over it. I quickly turned back and saw it staring at me waiting to pounce. I took a stick and a large stone and then did the necessary – killing it!

There were many nights where friends would gathered in our 12 Rooms Mansion for a game of Boggle. Those were wonderful memories; lots of laughter, silly banter, board games and the best of all, the incredible sound of the waves crashing on the beach. By the way, the office I worked in was downstairs, occupying the former lounge and front office of the Hotel. And because I worked alone, many times I just walked to my office – without my shirt – to work. Fancy that! But those were only the initial years, because after that the office got busier with Albert, Cheng Kin, Ean Beng, and others joining the staff. And by then, my wife and I had moved out of the Mansion.

When my wife talked about the memories of this place, she would tell of the many mornings of walking along the beach to pray. She would spend the early hours of the morning walking along the beach. It was incredibly beautiful and wonderfully breezy in the morning. She would also spend time sitting under the tree facing the sea and do her morning devotion. There was serenity all around, yes; in quietness and confidence, shall be our strength! But for me, I never found it that easy to do. But I did enjoy my time living there – I used to go swimming in the sea after work with Thean Khee and Mee Thiew. They were not married then!

FLATULENT LEAKAGE

This is probably the most embarrassing story that I would relate thus far. It has to do with the time when the wife of my youth kicked me out of the room. You see, I come from the infamy of the Lim Family whose bellies were constantly filled with wind – probably due to our eating lifestyle. Farting in the Lim Family was as natural as brushing our teeth after a good meal. My uncles and father, brothers and cousins all fart regularly and consistently with a high decibel sound at that. But for most of the time it’s just sound and nothing else so everybody carries on with their business as usual. So I carried on this wonderful tradition – to my own harm!

Lo and behold, I got married and I brought the Lim culture along with me into my marriage. It was harmless really, or so I thought, so I kind of let it just be as natural as possible when I introduced her to my world! Oh, what an innocent mistake!

Well, one night I must have eaten some hard boiled eggs and cabbage so when my stomach started stirring and – like what Kamala used to say: stomach don’t agree – I felt I needed to let go of that gust of wind trapped within me. To my horror there was no sound, but I could feel a warm gust of wind being released. Within seconds my wife got up from the bed and kicked me out of the room. I remember Andy and Chong Leang came out of their room on hearing the commotion. They burst out laughing so loud that their stomach hurt. I was laughing away uncontrollably. Oh, what an embarrassment!

NOTE: I don’t know how true it is but it has been said that the kind of stuff you eat produces different kinds of smell in your flatulent release (your fart la). So take for example, hard-boiled and cabbage makes the worse combination – it actually smells like it!

As far as she was concerned, I filled the room with the stench of a dead rat! I think I did a repeat of the Auschwitz gas chamber! Looking back I can laugh and even tell the tales to my children and friends but that night was no joke to her.

Did I ever have any recurrence of a flatulent leakage that could kill a cow? Well it’s for me to know and for you to find out!

LOCKED OUT OF THE ROOM

This is a good story, but can also be a great lesson for you guys who are about to get married. I had some good friends long before my marriage and we used to hang out almost every night. We were tight – I mean our friendship. In fact, one of the reasons we became such close buddies was that we all had issues in our relationships with our girlfriends. We used to talk about it and even laughed over it as well. That’s just some men’s “letting off steam” time. We met very often and usually only after we tucked our girlfriends to bed (metaphorically). What I mean is that we all did all our boyfriend-ly duties – fetched them home from work, have dinner together, and stay around to chit-chat for a while. Usually, by about ten at night, our girlfriends would either go to sleep or wanted to be left alone to do their own thing so the guys would gather in my house for the guy stuff – supper, jokes, and talking about our girlfriends. This usually would go way past midnight into the wee hours of the morning. Sometimes my friends stayed over at my house for the night and would leave in the morning just in time to go home, bath and get to the office to work.

In June 1985, I moved out of my old house and went to live in the 12 Rooms Mansion (taking care of the Hotel for the church actually). Andy and Chong Leang came and joined me a couple of months later. I had my own room which eventually became my little love nest with the wife of my youth but my two buddies shared a room together – probably too scared to live in a room of their own! We carried on with our little escapades – meeting after 10 pm for supper and fellowship into the wee hours of the morning. This carried on almost every night.

Months later I got married and brought my bride into this big Mansion, but still I would ritually go out with my buddies for supper into the wee hours of the mornings. Even up till today we are still buddies – seeing our children growing up and one after the other getting married, and pretty soon we will be talking about our grandchildren.

One fateful night, as usual, I left my wife alone and went out with my buddies for supper and we lost our sense of time. Soon it was way past two in the morning so we headed back to our Mansion – Chong Leang, Andy and myself. My buddies got into their room but I was locked out. I called and called out incessantly to my wife to open the door and I was met with silence. I knew I was in trouble. She locked me out. I pleaded and pleaded and there was no answer. I thought maybe she was fast asleep so I knocked even louder but I was met with silence. My buddies came out to see what happened. I told them my predicament and it became obvious that I would have to sleep in my buddies’ room for the night. But just before I decided to give up knocking on the door, suddenly the door was unlocked. Slowly, I tip-toed in and there she was, fuming mad at me.

I had the cheek to ask her what happened – of which she replied rather angrily, with the most profound question of the century: Did you marry me or did you marry your friends? If you are married to them, please take the pillow and go to them.

The moral of the story: take advice from the bible – leave and cleave. I forgot I was joined to her through the marriage vow and we have become one flesh. Just like I should leave my birth home and form a new nest with her, I should learn to prioritize my life with regard to my relationship with her, my parents, and my friends – with her coming out first at the top of the list.

LEFT BEHIND

About one year into my marriage Chong Leang got married followed by Andy and then Thean Khee – all just months apart. I remember I was part of a little music band playing at their weddings. It was at Andy’s wedding that an unusual thing happened. You see, we had to carry all the instruments to the Restaurant so that we can set it up and play at the wedding luncheon. We were using the same music instruments for the wedding reception at the church and now we have to dismantle the drums and every other instruments, amplifiers, and wires; packed them into the little van to transport them to the Restaurant. We only had very little time to do all that because we needed time to set them all up at the Restaurant and do some sound check before the Bride and Groom’s arrival.

Well, I was in a hurry so I packed all the stuff into the van and I just drove off to the Restaurant. It was only half way through that I realised that I had left my wife behind in the church. She was actually standing there waiting for me to finish all the packing but before she could get onto the front seat I drove off. I quickly make a u-turned and came back for her. Guess what? Yes, she was fuming mad at me. Guess what? Yes, silent treatment!

Moral of the story: stay focused man, stay focused and don’t ever forget her in the midst of your busyness!

You know that I could go on and on to relate the many wonderful and meaningful events and incidents about our lives together but like Chong Leang who loves the say: suffice for me at this point - every other stories were either too intimate to tell or too embarrassing to relate.

That’s all folks.