THE WAY FORWARD

Recently I took some time off to seek God for direction for Converse-Life, just to worship and pray, and to do some reading. It had been good and great. I came across a research article on the millennials. There are some great insights: authentic relationships, mentors, to act and not just to articulate the vision, to help them interpret as correctly as possible the culture around them, and to tackle some of the pertinent issues confronting them. It was mind opening for me.

So armed with this new information I have decided to change course in how I work with the millennials. I have decided to give my best to them in terms of time, effort, and prayers. I want to be able to have a meaningful conversation with them, engage them and communicate through listening. After spending some time with this generation of young working adults I notice that they have a dream - a soul passion - and there must be an encouragement from the "fathers in the house" to believe them and to motivate them to go chase the dream that God placed in their hearts.

I believe that I am living in the most exciting time in the history of mankind. We are indeed at the threshold of God's visitation - a day of God's manifested power, a day where the young would rise up with willing hearts - filled with God's dream, God's purpose. It's the day where the millennials can live up to God's call with an intentional life - full of love, joy, and hope. I want to be a part of the work of God in this last days creating, developing and building a relevant faith community where there are authentic relationships with God (intimacy), each other (brotherly love), humanity (compassion and social justice) and creation (goodness, truth, and beauty), augmented insights on God's Word (spiritual depth), and awesome worship - full of the Holy Spirit.

So my conclusion on CONVERSE-LIFE is -
- Mentoring the Millennials: prayer, accountability, care, and concern.
- Fun and Fellowship - "doing life" together. Inclusive in our faith community.
- Get involved in Social Justice, Kindness, and Community Work.
- Development of Godly Wisdom through reading, meditating and studying of God's Word.
- Interpreting the Popular Culture Today and measuring it with Divine Yardstick.
- Tackling Today's Social Issues - be it emotional, social, political or academic.

This is my dream!

JUST SAYING ALOUD

The Shortest Path to Intimacy is Suffering

The dominant characteristic of an authentic spiritual life is the gratitude that flows from trust – not only for all the gifts that I receive from God but gratitude for all suffering. Because in that purifying experience, suffering has often been the shortest path to intimacy with God. (Brennan Manning)

I couldn’t agree more with Brennan Manning when he said that “suffering has often been the shortest path to intimacy with God.” Today, we have a lot of self-styled preachers/pastors who would avoid talking about suffering like it is akin to leprosy. Their theology does not include suffering, problems in life, crisis and sickness, etc. because it’s all about grace, about been positive, and about health and prosperity.

The term intimacy with God has been around for a long time now. There have been many who tried to expound on what it means to have intimacy. Again a lot of self-appointed spiritual sheriffs in God’s Kingdom who will not hesitate to declare that they have more intimacy with the Father than others. How they define it beats me. Sometimes I get the feeling that intimacy with the Father means some feelings, some sort of experience they felt that is tangible when they spend time soaking in prayers. My relationship with the Father is not dependant upon the amount of time I spend in the prayer room. To me, it depends more on my obedience to what the Lord has already revealed through his Word. It depends on my response to the circumstances around me or happens to me. When I go through suffering for the Lord I am put to the test of my faith, my love for Him and obedience. When I pass through those testing times and come out on the other side unscathed then I would have gone through the purifying effect of God’s love – I learned obedience – I experience intimacy with the Father.

Intimacy has a lot to do with experiencing the reality of his love in the midst of difficulty, experiencing the reality of his mercy and grace when things don’t go my way, and when my own strength fails me – there I reached out to find his hand – there I would feel the reality of God himself – the reality of true intimacy. So yes, suffering has a way of clearing the path for intimacy with God.

Code of Decorum

What if a community feels that the one who comes to minister to them should have a certain code of decorum, for example, his appearance? What if the community feels that part of the code of decorum is not to have any part of his / her body pierced, carved, or tattooed? And when approached to respect the community he/she, as a guest, instead said that God told him to do that to break the cultural tradition of man, to keep up with the time, and to break free from cultural mores, what should be the responds?

To insist that he removes the earring, the pierced nose or chin studs would be in danger of going against the Word of God. To back off and do nothing would cause some people to be confused, to be dissatisfied, or even upset with the head of the community. So how?

I was thinking about this scenario for a while now. Let me pose to you this picture and see whether you agree with me. If someone invited to your house just walk into your living room with his shoes on, you, as the owner of the house would have politely asked him to remove his shoes. “Sir, in my house, everyone removes his shoes before entering my house.” And the guest turn round and boldly declares to you that God has told him to wear shoes to any Asians home in order to express the heart of God in breaking this Asian culture and tradition. So how?

Cacophony of Warring Voices

Without the conviction that there exist objective truths and without the conviction that there exists an authority governing the rules of interpretation of God’s Word, discussions on any given pertinent issue [be it morals, doctrine, culture or trends] in the church disintegrates into a cacophony of warring voices.  

Sadly the church has morphed into a body “dominated by the philosophy of empiricism, the doctrine that all knowledge is derived from the senses – what we see, hear, touch, and feel. Even moral statements were reduced to feelings. According to empiricism, we call things good when they give us pleasure. We call them bad when they cause pain. Thus was born the fact/value split – the idea that humans can have genuine knowledge only in the realm of empirical facts. Morality was reduced to subjective preferences. The term values mean literally whatever the individual happens to value. When moral convictions are reduced to arbitrary preferences, then they can no longer be debated rationally. Persuasion gives way to propaganda. Finally, nothing left but sheer force.” [Nancy Pearcy, Saving Leonardo, p. 2].

This is what I have faced with not too long ago.

Just saying.

SOME THOUGHTS FROM IMMANUEL KANT

"Thoughts without content are empty, intuitions without concepts are blind."

I find it strange that many people just want to live their life without the hassle to think too much – so they say. I find it hard to believe that people want to remain shallow in their thinking. But like what Kant said, “thoughts without content is empty.” Thoughts that are flippant, frivolous, superficial and facetious without content, without substance to it are really empty, shallow, and makes one look idiotic, senseless, and ignorant! I am not talking about “content” in terms of showing off some philosophical lingo or doing some intellectual hula-hoop with words to impress, but “content” as in the ability to present our thoughts with a certain depth to it, thoughts that has substance, has quality to it that the respondents can identify, understand, and appreciate.

In the Christian circle, we are so attuned to the senses (feelings) and the experiential that we give thoughts not even a second thought at all. We brush it aside to assure ourselves that our thinking would only be on a need to know basis - only utilitarian. There are others who would rather live on instinct or gut feelings! In a more spiritual term – to be led by the Spirit! Yet some others just want to get on with their job, their family, and making enough money to buy a house, a car, and going on regular holidays. There are very few in between who would spend significant time to think, to exercise their thought life. Their thinking is not about their next meal or how to earn more money and so forth but quality thinking about eternal issues, life issues, and so forth – with the ultimate purpose of knowing all about life, love, and beauty through the providence of the creation of God. They have the innate drive to want to know more about the world that God has placed them in. The healthy development of our mind is very important. An unexamined life is not worth living. We can’t just think without content because it would be a waste of oxygen!

Likewise, intuitions without concepts are blind. Intuition is not a blind leap of faith. The other words used for intuitions are perceptions, instinct, insight, awareness, and sensitivity. Every perception, every insight or awareness of what is around us has a kennel of idea or impression lock in it. We need to unlock the impression, the thought or idea so that our intuitions would not be aimless or blind. We need to conceptualize our perceptions, insight or awareness. Paint a picture of what we see in our mind’s eye. Translate it into simple ideas or thoughts that anyone who desires to know can understand it, who desire to feel with experience it, and who desire the transcendence will find its immanence! Let our thoughts and our insights be like a vast canvas where we can paint on it the substance of what we hope for and the concepts of eternity and the divine.

On that note, we will not be empty-headed and blind! I don’t know whether I am making any sense at all.

Just saying…..

IF NOT US, WHO? IF NOT NOW, WHEN?

I remembered the seventies and the eighties when I was in my twenties,

God showed up in powerful ways, in those days;

Dry bones in the valley were rattling, old traditions were crumbling,

God visited our generation, with deliverance and transformation.

God is challenging this generation TODAY! Are you willing in the day of God’s visitation? Will you offer yourselves freely on the day of His power? Calling the millennials believers – IF NOT US, WHO? IF NOT NOW, WHEN?

I am not asking you to join CONVERSE-LIFE to fulfill your religious duties, to mark your spiritual attendance or even to assure a place in heaven in the hereafter. I am challenging you to enlist in God’s army, a band of youthful, idealistic, ambitious, and creative (even odd to those of other generation) with willing hearts to offer themselves sacrificially – for a greater good, for a greater purpose. There is a call from the Lord to those who would trust in the Lord and partner with Him in a cause greater and bigger than themselves.

Look around us. Look at humanity lost in a sea of hopelessness, aimlessness, and despair. There are many people out there who are lost, who are desperately trying to make a little meaning here and a little meaning there out of their lives. A relationship is fragile. Not even tight friendship can be assured to last a lifetime anymore. Individuality, independence, and self-preservation have taken over.

My challenge to you is to lock arms together to form a new community (a new breed) that is relevant, transparent and honest. A new community that holds on to Truth with a capital “T”, love God with everything, love one another without partiality, not ashamed to preach the Gospel of the Kingdom to all who are willing to hear, care for the environment, the poor, the needy and the outcast of society, and not forgetting to walk in the supernatural life that God has given (empowered by the Holy Spirit and endowed with spiritual gifts).

We don’t believe in hype, events, and new methodologies. We believe in the power of God to change lives. We believe in honest relationships. We believe in prayer. We believe in the power of God’s Word. We care. We love. We challenge. We communicate. We dialogue. We converse. We engage. 

REEVALUATING MY LIFE BEFORE GOD

Yet again I am reevaluating my life before God. How do I fare? Have I grown? Have I truly made progress in my spiritual life? These are important questions that we need to ask from time to time. We need to check our spiritual barometer. So what do you think should be the criteria that we use to evaluate our spiritual vitality?

Some people would use daily devotion and quiet time, others would use prayer time with the Lord, and maybe others still would use their involvement in ministry and service for the Lord. Much as I want to think they are all right but the gnawing feeling is that only few could prove that their spiritual vitality is due in large part to such spiritual exercise if taken in isolation. What I mean is that there are people who “boost” of their unequivocal devotional and quiet time each day but shows no sign of healthy spirituality in everyday theology – self-doubt, dissatisfaction, anger issue, fear of losing, hoarders, selfishness, and other attitudes that are not so spiritual. And they have absolutely no clue about it – not even an iota!

I have also seen people going from one prayer meeting to another, “boost” of their many hours of prayer for people, nation, and the spiritual visions that they see frequently but are so spiritually immature when they actually open their mouth. There are many who have spent a lot of time in the prayer room but no firm knowledge of God and His Word. And of course, many serve in the ministry thinking they are trying to fulfill their Christian duty. Serving is no indicator of spiritual vitality either.

I still firmly believe that we need to come to a clear understanding of who God is and what is required of us through His Word. The knowledge of the Holy One brings understanding – but an understanding of who, yes, but to what? I believe that when we intentionally develop biblical knowledge as revealed through the Written Word we come to know the Living Word. Knowing the Living Word would bring an understanding of the plan and purpose of God for mankind in general and for you in particular. It is in this posture that prayer (worship, intimacy, petition, supplication, and intercession) make sense, have depth, and would be in alignment with God’s perfect and acceptable will. I believe it is in this posture that our devotional life becomes meaningful because through it we receive revelation, exercise faith, and see the working of God in and through our lives. Devotion and quiet time no longer is the yardstick to measure our spiritual vitality or discipline but it is because of our relationship with the Father that comes through knowledge of the Holy One and understanding of His ways, that we develop the desire to spend time alone with Him. Actually set time and place are no longer the issues though it is commendable!

Conversely, this can also be said of those who serve the Lord in ministry. It is not how much time we give in serving or what we do in ministry but who we are (our being) in Him. Out of the relationship with the Father, ministry becomes a privilege – we serve because He first served us by becoming a perfect sacrifice for each of us!

Just saying… 

THE LIGHTER SIDE OF FRIENDSHIP

From Left - Chong Leang, Thean Khee, Heok Hee, Heok Cheow, Andy Thum

Once upon a time, long long time ago, back in the good old days, these "five wise guys" spent a lot of their waking hours together. Significant time was spent eating, talking, singing the blues BUT actively serving the Lord too. Back in our bachelor days, our blues were mainly about our girlfriends. It has been said that, of all God's creation, women were the hardest to understand and to comprehend. Therefore, many times our little "congregational conversations" were about the near impossibility of knowing what our girlfriends want and why the "dark cloud"! (If you cannot understand what "dark cloud" means in our context please talk to Yeoh Thean Khee. Search for him on the facebook.)

Actually, our regular meeting up for supper after tucking our girlfriends to bed was very therapeutic indeed. These sessions helped Andy through his bout of gastritis due to self-inflicted hunger because he could not eat and sleep over girlfriend issue! 

It was also very helpful to Thean Khee because his girlfriend has been pursued by some unabashed suitor! He needed the encouragement, a listening ear, a broad shoulder, and whatever hope we can give to him! 

Heok Hee had a long distance relationship. His girlfriend was hundreds of miles away from home, somewhere in the down-under state of Johor, studying to be a teacher. He needed some company to ward off his loneliness. We often caught him in his room reading love letters from her! On the side note (because he would not let us read the letter) we suspected that she might have returned his letter with the scribble of a red ink pen and a bold-letter note at the end of the letter "PLEASE SEE ME!" Of course, it's just our speculation!

Chong Leang and his girlfriend were the perfect couple! You see them you see music all over. They were like hand-in-glove OR should I say like the black and white keys of a piano - flow in and flow out! If there was any dissonant sound in their partnership we didn't hear about it - a very well kept secret! Anyway, for most of us, we were tone deaf, to begin with. 

It won't be fair if I didn't say something about the man with an "all round" ministry. His girlfriend issue was like our Malaysian four seasons - hot, very hot, terribly hot, and stinking hot. Most of the explosions were the result of his stubbornness. Hokkien said, "ka kee cho kwei lai" (loosely translated - he creates the mess all by himself). Thank God it was only the initial stages of their relationship. I was told that he had to work very hard to regain her trust. He prevailed in the end. They got married after 6 long years!

So you see, these five wise guys have a lot in common and a lot to sing the blues about. So it says - birds of the same feathers flock together. All of us, after close to 40 years of friendship, we took this photo at Heok Hee's 60th birthday dinner. We were all married to the love of our lives. We raised wonderful children who called us blessed. Some of us are grandpas now or going to be soon!

We stick together like brothers. We serve God together until today. We see our children serving God. Praise the Lord.

CHRISTIAN INSIDER LINGO

Language is a very powerful thing. In the Christian world, we have a set of words and vocabulary that only those on the inside can understand. If you are on the outside peeping in you will get confused. That was what I thought is happening when unbelievers that attend church finds it hard to understand our lingo. No wonder they find us strange people sometimes. It is already tough to help unbelievers to grasp the abstract truth about God, the fall, sin, incarnation, and justification, and to add words that only the initiated in the faith, the inner-circle, or born-again people uses among themselves can identify is really out of wag! Well, I thought we can change that by being relevant in our usage of language or to contextualize our vocabulary to modern secular terms so that they can hear in understandable sentences all about the precious gospel message. I thought that was a simple task. All would be fine.

But to my "surprise, surprise!" I discovered that within the faith community we have also developed different sets of words and catch-phrases. And they are linked strongly to different streams of theological persuasion within the church! So we no longer have to contend with helping the unbelievers to understand us but we struggle to try to understand each other because we have morphed into a tribal culture based on our pet beliefs. For example, we have a "father heart tribal culture" which uses a lot of "Papa said this, Papa said that" and ideas like love, father’s embrace, intimacy and hearing God seems like an exclusive culture to them - whatever that means is anyone guess. If you are not in the inner circle you'll be lost. Then there are those who have a "super-spiritual tribal culture" and they throw out lots of terms about the Holy Spirit, prophetic pronouncements, and sensing in the spirit stuff. How about the latest one who uses a set of lingo that makes you feel you are a "spiritual leper" and outcast with catch-phrases like - "fore-runners eschatology", "eschatology revolution", "intercessory missionaries", and a large glossary of insider terms and phrases, such as wilderness lifestyle, friend of the Bridegroom, Daniel anointing, eating the scroll, fasted lifestyle, burning and shining lamps, wholehearted lovers, zones of glory, corridor of glory, and many more that could be added.

I am not saying that these people are deceived in their faith but rather cult-like because only those in the inner-circle can understand! I hope I am making sense. I haven’t gone into the glossary of the “hyper-grace tribal culture,” the “prosperity gospel tribal guru”, and a whole lot of other sub-groups!

The gospel is simple. Our faith is simple. It’s NOT being simplistic but simple trust and faith. We create our own language and build a large glossary but we may be in danger of being cult-like. Worse, we think we are very impressive in our propagation, teachings, and proclamation of the gospel but in reality, many people go away more confused or decode it wrongly and fall into error. 

SWING TO THE LEFT, SWING TO THE RIGHT

SLOW OR FAST

Some things are slow moving and some are fast moving - how is that possible? Like for example, the change I desire or wish to see happen in Malaysia is so slow in coming that it frustrates me. Yet again, there are so much to accomplish and so little time because the day passes by so fast that I wish I had 48 hours in a day.

I believe there are exciting days ahead, but the only issue is that of the definition of the word "exciting." Exciting days ahead could mean different things to different people. Explosive political and economic events that shake the nation to its core - that's exciting for some! Ministry or career opportunities even in the midst of economic meltdown, now that's exciting too! How about persecution for our faith, our skin color, and our gender? They are all very exciting possibilities - though negative.

I tell you what I personally think what exciting days are ahead. I think God is about to do a powerful work - to shake this nation and every other nation. What can be shaken will be shaken, and what cannot be shaken will remain. I think there will be an increase both in righteousness and evil - in light and in darkness! I think many will be driven to look up for a Saviour while others will be driven further into themselves and their selfishness. I am excited because it drives me to want to see people come into the Kingdom of God. Jesus Christ will establish His Kingdom and the gates of hell will not prevail against it!

So, what is "exciting days ahead" means to you?

POSITIVE OR ALARMIST

There are two types of people - one who is positive about everything and finds it a curse to be negative, and the other is an alarmist (the gloom and doom people).

As our country faces a very trying time - an economic meltdown, a political circus, and a racial drama in the coming days, I, on the other hand, am really "confused." I am confused because I am trying to understand God in the whole situation. I am confused because there are many theories about the country's woes. I am confused because there are so many stories being told to us through the media. I am confused because I am confused!

So the question is: should I be the positive guy? I need to stay positive, be positive, and in the end, it will work out! Or should I listen to the alarmist among us and be prepared for the worse - pack provision, keep lots of cash, and hide? Or maybe consider migrating to Melbourne, after all, it's the number one most livable place in the world!

I am confused.

OUTRAGEOUS OR REASONABLE

Nowadays, I don’t seem to have anything to write about or to comment. I mean, the positive things! Everything seems to be dark and gloomy. I really don’t want to comment on our country, our economy, and the things that are happening in the world. It’s too depressing. On top of that, I keep hearing from preachers who have the habit of dishing out statements that sent chills up my spine. I don’t pretend to know it all about theology or the Word of God, but I certainly can discern and differentiate between an outrageous statement and a reasonable one from the pulpit.

But I did have a good time last weekend with a group of medic students. I was speaking at their camp on building the altar of consecration, the temple of communion, the wall of character, and the Word, Christ our Lord! It’s great to spend time with the young adults because it makes me feel young again, and it gives me great hope in Christ.

At the same time, there was the Convergence-Crossroad Retreat, a young adult’s camp jointly organized by FG Plus and Crossroad network of churches. I was busy but delighted in hosting three youths from FGA Miri who were here for the Camp. There’s so much fun been with the young people. Thank God for their passion for the Lord. So, yes, last weekend was hectic but really fulfilling and enjoyable! At least it takes away the loneliness that sometimes engulfed me without any notice or warning.

LOOKING FORWARD TO A NEW ADVENTURE WITH THE LORD. It doesn’t matter how dark the days ahead can get because I know deep within me that His light will shine the brightest. Looking forward to a brand new path to forge ahead for the Lord.

OPPORTUNITY OR DESPONDENCY

The flatulent of the disgusting putrefying political quotes of “supposed” honorable leaders of our country have become classics - should archive it for the future generations so that they would be able to sit back, relax, read the historical account, and laugh while drinking their tea. But for the present? Ah – Oo – Ouch!

Times of despair, depression, and despondency can actually present an opportunity for God to act. We can believe that God is still in control. When the enemy comes in like a flood God would raise a standard against it. We can rise and do exploits for the Lord. We could resign to frustration and anger or we can push back the tide of negativity, trusting God to see us through. I think, besides praying, we need to have God’s perspective, we need to have a clearer understanding of his love and forgiveness, and not to lose sight of our purpose and meaning in life in Christ.

We need to be in anticipation of the coming of the Bridegroom for His bride, the church, YET at the same time we need to get cracking – love Him with everything that is within us, and to love one another, to care for the poor and needy, and to reach out to those who are spiritually destitute! Christ will come and He will reign over all the earth, and we shall reign with Him. But there’s so much still to be done in our city, in our land, and in our homes! LET’S BE ADVENTUROUS. LET’S BE BOLD AND COURAGEOUS!

JUDGMENT AND REDEMPTION

INTRODUCTION

Isaiah 59:14-16 (NKJV) – Justice is turned back, and righteousness stands afar off; for truth is fallen in the street, and equity cannot enter. So truth fails, and he who departs from evil makes himself a prey. Then the LORD saw it, and it displeased Him that there was no justice. He saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no intercessor; therefore His own arm brought salvation for Him; and His own righteousness, it sustained Him.

When Truth is fallen in the street; stumbled in the public squares, trampled underfoot or thrown away as rejects then justice is turned back. But turn back to what? The first thought is turning back to lawlessness and anarchy! People are left to their own devices. There’s a possibility of disorder and revolution. Righteousness stands afar off. Righteousness cannot be seen. It is sidelined. It is lost and out of sight! And the result would be unrighteousness! There will be secrets; lies and more lies. Equity cannot enter – “everyone does what was right in its own eyes.” Whatever happens to morality and ethics? The result is the INCREASE IN IMMORALITY and UNETHICAL PRACTICES – the rise of injustice, racism, partiality, and unethical decisions. He who departs from evil makes himself a prey – those who try to get away from evil, who wants to uphold righteousness will be hounded at, laughed at, and even be in danger for his life!!PERSECUTION, PROSECUTION, and INCARCERATION. There was no justice – injustice displeases the Lord. “For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him” (2 Chronicles 16:9). There was no man, and wondered that there was no intercessor – Isn’t that a rebuke from the Lord? In the midst of all the injustices, lawlessness, unrighteousness, and immorality, where are the prayer warriors?

We need to stand in the gap, stand between the porch and the altar, and plead before our God. Righteousness exalts the nations. Let us get on our knees and pray to God as sons and daughters of righteousness through our Lord Jesus Christ. Church, let’s pray!

LORD, WHY DO YOU CASUALLY LOOK AT WRONG?

Habakkuk lived during a terrible time of national suffering: destruction and violence on a vast scale, perhaps at the hands of the Chaldeans, a ruthless people bent on world conquest, with no regard for any rule of law.

Habakkuk’s Complaint: Habakkuk has seen great horror and he flings this violence and perverted justice at God and demand for an account of His silence (1:1-4). In essence, he asked God: why do you casually (indifferent, relaxed) look at wrong? In spite of his emotional outburst, his demand for an answer, his lamenting, and railing, and a near despair he didn't stomp off. Instead, he climbed up to a high tower to watch and wait for God to answer (2:1). And an answer finally came. Those who care about righteousness have to accept the timetable of God, have to take the long view, and have to give God room to work out His purpose in a manner and with wisdom beyond our own. We have to live by faith.

Accepting God’s Timetable: We have to accept the timetable of God. His way is higher than ours and His thought is higher than ours. God is sovereign and He is still on the throne. He has the final say and He decides at any finality! We have to take a long view. We have to look beyond the immediate and the present. We need to see with the eyes of God – seeing the end from the beginning. We have to give room for Him to work out His purpose – something that is even beyond our wisdom to understand. He is God and He knows all things! We need to trust in God for that. That is living by faith. That is tenacity of faith!

Climb the Tower and Wait: The book of Habakkuk has more to say about the tenacity of faith than the answers to the prophet's complaint. It took faith to accept that answer, of course, but it took a different kind of faith to expect an answer at all, to expect to hear from God in the first place. We see the character of faith not so much when God proposes a certain way of looking at the problem of evil and the prophet embraces it. We see the character of faith when Habakkuk climbed the tower to wait for a word to come to him, believing God will speak, precisely when God has been silent for so long (Hab. 2:1-2). There was tenacious faith; fierce belief and foundational trust. It is betting his life that there is a God who may appear to be but is not absent, not complacent, not indifferent and not incompetent. It is betting his life that there will be a trustworthy and effective word from God even if he should have to wait for it until the day he dies.

THOUGH THE FIG TREE DOES NOT BLOSSOM

Habakkuk 3:17-19 - Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places.

We read the account of Habakkuk and all we hear is the gloom and doom! There seems to be nothing good happening but disasters instead. There were no fruits in the vine, the field did not produce any food, the flock is cut off from the fold and there is no herd in the barnyard! There can be no worse situation in one’s life than this. Nothing seems to be happening and nothing seems to go right. No amount of labor and hard work has yielded any results. He was on the brink of poverty! The attitude of Habakkuk is one who possesses a tenacious spirit. His tenacity outflows from the fierce supposition and foundational faith he has in God. He possesses a positive faith-attitude. He declared that even though all around him seems to be nothing but deadness yet he will rejoice in the God of his salvation. He declared that the Lord is his strength. He declared that the Lord will come through for him. He refused to believe otherwise. What did he believe in? Habakkuk believed in the strength of God. He said that the Lord will make his feet like deer’s feet, that is, the Lord will give him the strength to overcome, will give him the strength to experience victory. He believes that the Lord will make him walk on his high places, that is, a place of greater testing and responsibility perhaps, but it will be a place of greater authority too. That is where he will experience victory. That is where he will rule and reign with authority.

Waiting, watching and praying at the high tower has a way of changing us inside out – giving us a new perspective and helping us see the endgame! Habakkuk started off with “Lord, why do you casually look at wrong?” but ended with “though the fig tree does not blossom….yet I will rejoice in the Lord.” What a change!

GOD IS STILL ON THE THRONE

If I were to ask you what images you have of God what would they be like? If I were to ask you to imagine the kind of God you put your faith in what would be the answer? These are important questions to ask yourselves today because how you view God will affect how you will play out your role in this present world. You and I live in a very hostile world, not that we are under oppressive rule yet, but under the subtle and oppressive ideologies, worldly pressure that seeks to squeeze us into their mold and to their follies, and hidden agendas of religious & racial persecutions

Let me quote Carl F. H. Henry in his book “Twilight Of A Great Civilization” where he described very appropriately the kind of world we are living in and the condition of Christians who are in danger of a relapse into paganism: “We are steeped in the anti-christ philosophy – namely, that success consists in embracing not the values of the Sermon on the Mount but an infinity of material things, of sex and status – that we little sense how much of what passes for practical Christianity is really an apostate compromise with the spirit of the age. Our generation is lost to the truth of God, to the reality of divine revelation, to the content of God’s will, to the power of His redemption, and to the authority of His word. For this loss, it is paying dearly in a swift relapse to paganism. The savages are stirring again; you can hear them rumbling and rustling in the tempo of our times.

Christians would do well to understand that how they view God will determine how faithful and committed they are to him. In Daniel chapter 7, Daniel wants to help you enter into his visionary world and see for yourselves the majestic, all-powerful God called the Ancient of days. He wants you to see His Son Jesus Christ – one who is given all power, glory, and authority. I pray your heart will be encouraged, your mind will be enlightened, and your faith will be steadfast as we explore three great themes in this vision of Daniel together. God is still on the throne.

SOVEREIGN CONTROL OVER HUMAN HISTORY

God’s people should continue to trust in God and remain committed to him because he is in sovereign control over every human history.

Interwoven into this apocalyptic narrative is the hand of a Sovereign God in absolute control over historical events. The kings and kingdoms of the earth serve the purposes of the Sovereign God. To the first beast (4): “…the wings were torn off and it was lifted from the ground and was raised on two feet like a man, and the heart of a man was given to it.” It implicitly implied that God gives to him the power to rule. To the second beast (5): “…and it was told, ‘Arise and eat much flesh!’” It is obvious that God is in control of his action. In verse 6 the Most High gave the third beast the authority to rule. The fourth beast has only a time, times, and half a time, indicating a brief time period (25b) to continue in his arrogant rule before the Ancient of Days judge him and destroy him. God’s sovereignty is seen throughout the apocalyptic narrative of Daniel’s visionary world. The understanding of the vision as given to Daniel is that earthly kingdoms come and go. The fate of the kings and kingdoms is sealed by the Sovereign hand of God, the Most High, the Ancient of Days and the eternal Judge (11-12).

The description of the Ancient of Days befits the majestic, powerful Sovereign God in control. He has a throne flaming with fire and its wheels were all ablaze (9). His clothing was white as snow, his hair white like pure wool (9). There is a river of fire flowing and coming out from before him (10a). Daniel sees masses of people standing before him (10b) and in the latter interpretation, it is the saints worshiping and obeying him (27). Then Daniel sees the Ancient of Days taking his seat on the throne and the books opened speaking of him as the Judge, the Ruler and the final authority (10b).

This description in Daniel’s visionary world of the Sovereign Lord serves to remind the saints to trust in God and remain faithful because he is majestic, glorious and his kingdom is an everlasting kingdom. He has the earthly kings under the palm of his hands. He is in control.

I experienced a crisis in my family when my youngest son was about 8 years old. He went to sleep as usual but about half hour later his sister told us that he was staring at the ceiling and was not himself at all. To cut a long story short, we found that he could not speak and could not see straight and his body began to grow weak on the right side. The symptom looks like someone having a stroke. I quickly rush him to the hospital. The next two and a half hours was like an eternity for my wife and I. At the hospital’s emergency room many thoughts crosses my mind. The crisis was not just about the life of the child but my crisis of faith. I have a choice. I have preached and taught for years about the faithfulness of God, about God being in control of every situation of our lives. Here I had to choose between trusting God over this crisis situation that I am facing or to question his goodness. I had to make a decision in my heart. Am I expecting God to be at my disposal or am I trusting his sovereign power and grace over my family? Praise God I choose to trust him rather than question him. Through this crisis, I learned a lesson on what is trusting God for every situation. After all the scare from the doctor about swelling of the brain because he was experiencing excruciating pain, the doctor discovered that he had epileptic feat but today he is completely well.

God is so powerful, so majestic and he is in control over every situation, therefore, there is no need for you to be afraid and be discouraged over your present situation (whatever may be), but to remain faithful and committed to him.

JUDGE THEIR ENEMIES

God’s people should continue to trust in God and remain committed to him because he will judge their enemies.

The four beasts which speak of earthly kingdoms will be judged, slain and destroyed and their authority will be taken away. It starts with Babylon, the Persian then the Medes culminating at the rise of Antiochus IV (11-12). The lion-eagle appearance of the first beast is reduced from being able to soar above the earth to experience the limitation of mere humanity. The removal of the eagle’s wings, reducing the creature to a mere four-legged animal, is an act of the judgment paralleling the one regarding Nebuchadnezzar in Chapter 4. The second is bear-like. Encouraged to do so, it savagely devours.

The third beast is leopard-like, with four wings and four heads, and it is given dominion. The fourth beast receives greater attention from Daniel. Different from the first three, this beast seems uglier, more powerful, and much more hostile toward God and His saints. With iron-like teeth, horns (some with eyes), and feet, it is utterly destructive. What it does not destroy or consume with its teeth, it crushes underfoot, much like a bull in a china shop. This fourth beast has the distinction of ten horns. As Daniel continues to watch, another horn emerges, as three of the other horns are plucked out by the roots to make room for it. Looking about with its numerous eyes, no one can escape his look or hide from him. With its mouth, the beast continues to speak boastfully. The “horn” continues to sound off while the court is being set up for judgment. So far it looks depressing, isn’t it?

But suddenly, the boasting beast is silenced by death, and his body is cast into the burning fire. Even the fate of this fourth beast is different than his three predecessors, as his life and his kingdom seem to end at the same moment. The other three are removed from power but allowed to live for some time after their removal (verse 12).

Today, in a dog eat dog world, we face many enemies of our souls: detractors, blasphemers, unscrupulous people, betrayers, and backbiters. Someone said this: “Saint Paul use to have wings until all the backbiters bite it off.” We constantly face persecutions, ridicule, words that hurt, and swear words about our God. Sometimes we may even feel infuriated yet defenseless and at times defeated. To those under the oppressive rule of Antiochus IV and to us today it is important to read from Daniel’s vision that while the enemy is mouthing his arrogance a court is being set up and the eternal judge, the ancient of Days takes his sit on the throne. John Calvin said, “He is said to ascend his tribunal when he assumes to himself the office of a judge and openly demonstrates that he is neither asleep nor absent.”

Just as it is proven in history that God deals with all the evil pagan kings he will also deal with all the enemies of your life. There is no need for you to be afraid and discouraged over your present situation (whatever may be), but to remain faithful and committed to him.

ESTABLISH HIS KINGDOM WITH HIS SAINTS

God’s people should continue to trust in God and remain committed to him because he will establish his kingdom with his saints.

In verse 13, this humanlike figure has the heavenly nature underlined by his coming with the cloud of heaven. His human-likeness is genuine and not contrived and the heavenly glory is given, not seized. Jesus Christ our Lord is seen here coming with the clouds of heaven and presented to the Ancient of Days. In the apocalyptic vision, we have a glimpse of Christ having all power and authority and receiving worship when all peoples, nations, and languages give reverence to him (14). We are told in the interpretation of the vision report that this kingdom he came to establish is an everlasting kingdom that will never be destroyed (14). What an encouragement for God’s people!

This vision of the son of man, the vision of Christ Jesus the Messiah ties in very much with the destiny of God’s faithful people. In the New Testament, you will read that hope is the anchor of your soul. Indeed, the vision of Daniel 7 will give you a glimpse of what the end will be who trust in him and continue to be faithful. Your destiny in God ties in with the establishment of his everlasting kingdom through his son Jesus Christ.

This passage in Daniel 7 has the context of the severe persecution of God’s people with defeat at hand too (21, 25) but it quickly followed by the intervention of the Most High – judging these persecutors and destroys them until the end (26). In fact, their humiliation is the beginning of their victory.

The destiny of God’s people was sealed because the end is determined for the saints. This is your hope, the anchor of your soul so be faithful and be steadfast. The destiny of God’s people was sealed because the judgment of God was given in favor of the saints of the Most High (22). Though your outward man may perish, your inward man is being renewed; though you may weep in the night for a season joy shall come in the morning. Christ in you the hope of glory. May you continue to trust in him! The destiny of God’s people was sealed because the kingdoms under the whole heaven will be given to the saints of the Most High (27).

You shall be co-heirs with Christ in the inheritance God has prepared for you. You are secured in him; therefore walk in obedience, walk in the reverential worship of him who loves you and saves you. There is no need for you to be afraid and discouraged over your present situation (whatever it may be) that to remain faithful and committed to him.

The oppressive situation may be real in your life, the pressure face in your daily life may be mounting, and the work of the enemy through earthly vessels may continue to rise again and again but the message from the Ancient of Days is clear and distinct. Be encouraged and be resolved in your heart - stand steadfast and unmovable in your faith. You should continue to trust in him and remain committed to him in whatever circumstances and situations in life because he is still in control of human history, he will judge your enemies, and he will establish his kingdom through his Son Jesus Christ of which you have a part in.

IF ONLY....

Inadvertently, we often find ourselves in unpleasant circumstances that we do not wish for. If only life could be a little more sweet and pleasant, more bearable, and comfortable ...if only. Who knows, we might decide to stay on in this world hoping to taste the elixir of immortality, love the things of this world to bits, and not be concerned about the issue of eternity, about God, and about salvation at all! HELLO, THIS WORLD IS NOT OUR HOME!

Those who put their entire "stack" on this world or who believe that life here on earth is what it is and ever will have already decided that there is no hereafter, no God, and no purpose in life. These are the ones who find it unreasonable when a little trouble comes their way, when some unpleasant situations hit the fan, and when confronted with pain and suffering. They only want to live in a sugar-coated fantasy world of non-interruption of their dreams, perfect playout of conveniences, and absolute freedom to live their own lives. No wonder it is so easy to take the escape route for some when things get tough or to live frivolously, riotously, and carelessly without restraint for others – “eat, drink and be merry” mentality!

I hope that the followers of Christ would heed God’s Word and not be swayed by the ideologies of this world. The humanistic secular ideas (worldviews) are often fatalistic, deterministic, nihilistic and depressive! When we refuse to believe and put our trust in someone bigger than us, someone who is our Master Designer, but desire to be free from Him that all the talks of a greater good for mankind, the freedom of choice, morality, and human rights become futile, pointless and useless. There needs to be a main focal point, a divine compass, in our lives to make life worth living and a destiny worth pursuing! And that divine compass is none other than the God who created us in His image, who loves us with an everlasting love, and who has a plan for us, a plan for good and not for evil! Only when we return to our true calling because he has placed eternity in our hearts that we find our “greater good”, our divine destiny or else we will continue in the cesspool of sin, pride, and selfish arrogance.

I can’t, for the life of me, understand those who accused God of the violence in this world. They say: How could a loving God allow so much evil in the world? They blatantly accused monotheistic religions as the main culprits for some of our violent history – the crusades, the inquisitions, and the wars caused by religious conflicts. They accused God of killing women and children, for injustice because he hated Cain but loved Abel and the many accounts of God’s judgments in the Christian bible (especially in the Old Testament). Yet, the same people forgot about the millions upon millions of innocent people who were butchered, tortured, and murdered for the last 80 years at the hand of dictators and evil personified. They are all well-known professed atheists – Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, Pol Pot and Chairman Mao, to name a few. It was estimated that between these five characters they have sent close to 100 million innocent people to their early grave (not counting those who died during wartime).

So folks, let’s not be too comfortable with this world. Let us serve Him while yet it is still daytime. Let’s reach out in love to those around us who have yet to come to know God and His Son Jesus who died for the sins of the world. We have a hope. We have a destiny. We have eternity in our hearts.

CHRIST’S KINGDOM IN OUR HOME

It’s been quite a while since I last post on FB. For a long while my post centered on the trial that my family and I was going through, and the journey of faith that I had to journey through. At those times, there were many things to ponder, many issues to deal with, and many questions that needed answers. Well, this valley of pain and uncomfortableness have pretty much out of sight now, but still there is a sense of emptiness within my heart. It’s not that I don’t have things to do and that I have so much time on hand to waste in thinking. It’s not that I have a mountain of obstacles to overcome or a valley of despair that I have to conquer. I enjoy the work of the ministry. I enjoy my present status in life. In fact, it’s already almost a year since I lost my wife. I have wonderful children and I don’t have any financial burden, but still there’s a nagging emptiness that I could not put my finger on.

I don’t want to sound like I am whining or complaining. I am not saying that I am sad. I am not even saying that I am not satisfied in life – especially in Christ. I guess there’s going to be that feeling of losing someone who is a part of you for so long that’s not going away for the rest of your life. I like to move on – as some have suggested that – but it’s easier said than done.

So where is God in all of this? I don’t have an answer, but I know deeply within my heart that God loves me and He takes care of me. I have no doubt of His goodness toward me and my family. In fact, God is the strength of my life, and through it all, He is faithful and compassionate. But every day I came back home and deeply felt the absence of the love of my life. I missed the laughter, the silly quarrels, and the times we watch Asian Food Channel, the only TV Show she watched. Of course, I missed the family prayer and Bible reading. I missed her cooking, going to Tesco and Sunshine Farlim, and wet market. How many things we take for granted until …. Now I missed her! How I wished I could have done more for her, spend more time with her, and take her for holidays.

Even as the church stress on Christ’s Kingdom in our home in this few months I pray that each one of us would treasure our family – our spouse, children, parents, and extended family (church friends). We need to treasure relationship – “owe no one anything except to love” – truly love one another while they are still here. There’s no point rehearsing all our love for our parents, spouse and children when they are no longer around. Love while they are still alive and it would be the best thing God would have us do!

IN DESPERATION

Jude 11 - “Woe to them! For they have gone in the way of Cain, have run greedily after the error of Balaam for profit, and perished in the rebellion of Korah.”

There are THREE CONCLUSIONS when humanity follows its own devices -

First we have the way of Cain. I call that THE BANALITY OF SELFISHNESS - The Incarnation of Evil. Cain murdered his own flesh and blood. From there on we see humanity began to perpetuate evil and finally evil became so ordinary and so mundane. God-given conscience was seared with a hot iron. Man has no more conscience. Look around you. Read the news and you would soon have realized that evil has no face – many have become selfishly wicked. That’s what banality means – ordinary! 1 John 3:11-12 gave us an insight into the evilness of Cain. Cain’s action was evil while his brother Able was righteous. He had offered up unacceptable sacrifices before the Lord when he knew full well what needed to be done for an acceptable sacrifice. Instead of repenting and making good he allowed hatred, bitterness and jealousy to develop within his heart and the full force of evil took over from then on. He plotted to kill his brother. We see that later on in the life Joseph and much later in the life of Jesus too. In Joseph’s life, his brothers allowed bitterness and jealousy to take control. In the end, they sold him into slavery. The same with Jesus, the religious authority were proud and took matter into their own hand – claiming to be God’s defender of faith but in reality they were the religious bigots of the day, the framer of the true faith! “The way of Cain” is acting on fleshly impulses, being deliberately presumptuous and intentional to spike God. But what a contrast to Abel his brother! Hebrews 11:4 tells us that “by faith Abel offered to God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts; and through it he being dead still speaks.”

Second comes the error of Balaam. I call that THE CUPIDITY OF SELF-PROFITABILITY - The Propensity to Error. Balaam tried to make a profit out of the gift of God. He possessed some knowledge of the true God. He acknowledged that his superior powers as poet and prophet derived from God. He was famous but self-conceited and covetous. He was not sensitive - a donkey was used by God to reveal Himself to him proving that he doesn't know it all (Deuteronomy 23:4; Numbers 3:8). Three things can be said about him: (1) He tried to commercialize the gift of God. (2) Apparently there was no fear of God in him. He did not see the gravity of his action because greed had taken over. (3) There was a religious deception. Presumptuous living is living not just on the edge but on the brink of hell! In 2 Peter 2:15 Apostle Peter lamented on the depravity of the adulterous people who followed after “the way of Balaam”. The adulterous people had forsaken the right way, gone astray, and loved the wages of unrighteousness. In fact, the way of Balaam had turned into a doctrine (Revelation 2:14), a set of principles and beliefs. They had abandoned godly separation and a pilgrim character in favor of worldly conformity. Balaam taught Balak to corrupt the people that could not be cursed. (Numbers 31:15 & 16; 22:5; 23:8). The error of Balaam was living presumptuously - doing what God did not say to do by deception, covetousness, and greed. He used pagan ritual to carry out what God hates.

Third is the rebellion of Korah. I call that THE MUTINY OF SELF-AGGRANDIZEMENT - The Finality of Egoism. Korah perished in rebellion. He fell into the trap of conspiracy (Numbers 16:1-49). He was jealous of the high honor and privileges of the priesthood. This priesthood was exclusively the family of Aaron. He was also jealous of the supreme authority of Moses. Their offices were small compared to Aaron and Moses. He joined up with Dathan, Abiram, and 250 others in a usurpation of authority (Numbers14:5). The gainsaying of Korah brought him destruction. He's a self-seeking rebel that had the sin of pride. Moses' intercession gave the contrast - humble and full of compassion.

A PASTOR’S LIFE

(Life as lived by a pastor behind the scene)

In The Beginning…

All I ever know as a young man was to give my life to serve Him. I didn't envisage myself to be a pastor. I didn't pursue a life of a pastor – I accidentally stumbled into it. I just wanted to teach Bible Study classes, preach, and go on mission (whatever that is!) Well, when I finally left my job and came out by faith I spent a month not doing anything – of course, waking up each morning trying to pray and read the bible but quickly I was staring into the open sky more than meditating. Thank God the church took me in. I started as a clerk in the church doing Accounts that also came with a fancy role called Mission Director but really means whatever you want it to be. At the end of the day, I was really just a full-time worker doing all the clerical job that needed to be done because no one else would do that voluntarily.

 

Well, I did that for quite a while until the Church actually employed a qualified Administrator. Suddenly I was given a letter of appointment stating that I am an administrative clerk but conveniently my role as Mission Director was nowhere to be found. I felt cheated so I brought up the issue and they placed the Mission Director into my letter of appointment. Clerical work practically took up all of my time. And the mission thingy was for show. I couldn't blame them too because I didn’t know what that was too!

To cut the long story short I asked for a transfer from the administration because I felt that when I answered the call to serve him it was not to do account, keep petty cash, count money and fetch Speakers from the airport, etc. so they did transfer me to the pastoral office. By the way, there was no pastoral office because the church doesn't have any pastors – it was run mostly by lay leaders who called themselves Elders. So technically I was the first pastor of FGA (Full Gospel Assembly) - Penang Branch then. My major job function: fetched speakers from and to the airport, kept records of newcomers in the church, led a home fellowship and taught in a bible class occasionally. And yeah, another thing – I was a pastoral staff but no one called me pastor! That’s reserved for the only one! It was equivalent to “Tan Sri” nowadays and there was such a respect for the title. But today, every Tom, Dick or Harry (or to be politically correct, every Jean and Jenny) can be called a Pastor! It’s scary. On a side-note: nowadays, I am fine if no one calls be a pastor because it does not conjure any more respect than my first name does anyway!

That’s how it all began….

THE REAL ME

I was not a pastor’s material to start with. I love to be alone doing my own thing and definitely not the sociable type. I guess I could do relationship and fellowship (that also must have something in common) for maybe half hour but if it gets too long I get uncomfortable. Sometimes I would experience a knot in my stomach and I know my time is up and I need to get out. It’s really strange to say all this, after all I became a pastor for close to 29 years! How did I ever get through – must be a sheer miracle.

Seriously, I endured visitation more than anyone can imagine. I dread going to the hospital and certainly the morgue, funeral parlor, cemetery, and crematorium were not on my list of place of visit. But I did go to such places since I became a pastor. I am only telling you my inner dread, the real me, and the real person who was not but is! It’s funny though because in my lifetime as a pastor I was at the hospital, morgue, funeral parlor, cemetery and crematorium more times than I could count. I was there at odd hours too! On many occasions, I was with the bereaved families comforting them and praying for them. I remember I had to bury two of my church members in Nibong Tebal. It was not an ordinary sight – I had to see to the whole arrangement as well as preach, pray and sing too! I think God has a sense of humor. It was truly a time of testing for me.

Just about my short time in Nibong Tebal I had to attend so many funerals. There was one death that was very sad and devastated many hearts. It was the death of a young doctor (the only son of my church member) who caught a deadly virus while treating a patient in England. Just to see his mother holding the urn can really break anyone’s heart. It was tough. I found it so difficult to even convey any condolences. I didn't find myself brave enough to stand by her.

So that’s the real me. If there is one thing that I feared the most in my early days as a pastor it would be facing death. That’s probably the reason why I dread going to the hospital and attending funerals. I would avoid, really avoid, looking at a dead body, no matter how saintly they look at the time of death. The image of them always get edged into my memory and I find it so difficult to shack it off. I have been set free from that. Praise the Lord! But still the real me hates such places!

PROFESSIONAL DEMEANOR

There was one particular incident worth relating to you. Like I said, funeral homes and crematorium were not places of ease for me but still as a pastor I had to be there now and then. Sometimes as pastors we had to act with confident and boldness while within us our emotional bottom was falling out – so to speak.

I don’t know how long ago but when Joseph Savarimuthu first came to Penang to do pastoral internship Ps. Chong Leang and myself was put in charge of him. He was supposed to understudy with us in the worship ministry but because we were involved in everything and all things (the Chinese said: “Pau Sua, Pau Hai” – directly translated as “covering the hills and the sea.”) So we had an elderly man who passed away and cremation was not so common then. In fact, it was our first time that we had to go with the family to the crematorium the following day to pick up the bones and throw it into the sea off Gurney Drive. We never let Joseph knows that we were newbies and that we were scared. We acted so professionally as if this was an ordinary affair. That morning we went with trepidation but thankfully Joseph was not aware of it.

Just imagine with me for a moment: we were there that morning and the undertaker took out the bone fragments wrapped up in a piece of white cloth. It was not even in an urn! He untied the cloth and asked us to verified it (it makes no sense and I was feeling not too well inside to say or think straight). Anyway the dead man’s wife asked us to pray over the bones and bless the family. We did and off we go with the bundle of bone fragments to Gurney Drive. Again, at Gurney Drive the boat man took the bones and asked for a red packet to ward off evil I guess. At the end of the “ritual” we prayed again for the family. All this time Joseph was observing and learning I think but he was not aware that this was our first time too!

So that’s the secret of mentoring….

OF PROPHECY, GIFTS AND TALENTS

Coming from the background of a Charismatic-Pentecostal Brethren Church the gifts of the Holy Spirit is central to our lives and walk. Particularly the prophetic was very prominent in our circle. It always intrigue me to grow up in the environment of such spirit-filled atmosphere to also have such a sense of doubt about the carrier of those prophetic words. I don’t know how to explain. I need to be careful here – I do believe in the gift of prophecy. I had many prophetic words spoken over me that have come to pass accurately so I am not downgrading the effective use of the prophetic gifting, in fact, I exonerate it! Just like I hated in performing the pastoral duty for the dead and the living yet I did it nonetheless – not with a grudge but just with a sense of dread. Likewise, when it comes to the prophetic I believe it so much but I doubt it so much too at the same time. Irony, isn't it?

I was one of those who would transcribed all the prophetic words given over me and read it from time to time. I would praise God for the fulfillment of the prophetic words but I have to admit that some of the “so-called” prophetic words were some gibberish coming out from some people too. But I am not writing to discredit the gifts but I would throw caution to the wind when it comes to the carrier of the prophetic words.

One of the thing that I chuckled about were the different words that came to me over the years regarding my calling and gifting. I remember way back in 1979 that I received a word from a man of God from down under. The words are still so fresh in my memory – “Launch out into the deep, cast forth your net and you will bring in the harvest!” The words were loosely quoted from Luke 5. I was in a Bible School in Singapore then - broke, defeated, discouraged, and felt like a failure. I was going to pack my bags and head home to Penang when the word of the Lord came through for me. I stayed back and the rest is history. In 1980 Des Short prophesied over me that I would be a teacher of the Word. Well, I have stuck to teaching the Bible all these years and I enjoyed it very much.

But what I wanted to share was the fact that along the years thereafter I have many “prophets” coming along and laid hands on me and spoke powerfully. One called me to stand up and said that the Lord has placed a silver trumpet in my mouth – a call to be an evangelist. Some years later another came over to me and laid his hands on me and said that God is raising me up as an apostle – the mantle of authority. Wow, that sounds great. Further down the road a passing by speaker was praying for the pastors in the senior pastor’s office. This prophet said that I have a significant pastoral gift. So you guess, the cynical me rises up and I mentioned to my fellow pastors – “I wonder when I would be prophesied over that I would be called to be a prophet to the nation!” We had a good laugh because all those who knows me knows that I don’t do prophecy, period! So it’s really funny – teacher, evangelist, pastor, and apostle – I must be very gifted.

Honestly, I am secure in Christ. I love to teach the Word of God. I love to explain, to explore, and to discover the Truth of God. That’s me. Maybe I do have a little apostolic gifting because I love to chart new course, pioneer new work or ministry, and cross-cultural missions but evangelist, pastor and prophet? I have to think about that, really!

I LOVE MY “DO NOTHING” BOX

That’s one place that I rather be and that is to go to my “do nothing” box – exactly, do nothing! It’s great to be given the opportunity to preach, to teach, and to do ministry but honest to goodness, it would be even more wonderful to be left alone to do nothing and stare into space for a while after all the preaching and the teaching.

One of the things that I love to do (even up till today) is to go to the Mall. I would just walk and walk all over the Mall thinking of nothing and buying nothing. I can do that for hours, maybe stop for a little while to take a drink or buy some tic-bits to munch. This is my favorite time especially after a hectic time of ministry, preaching and teaching. One of the things my children would remind me is to stop staring at people. I admit, I do that quite often. And when I do I spaced out – I would survey the person from his/her head to his/her foot. It’s nothing sensual but when I survey them my mind would go into free gear and I would imagine the kind of person he/she is – married, divorced, sad, happy, burden with problems or not. And the list goes on. I would size-up the person: the clothes he/she wears tells me something about him/her, the kind of shoes he/she wears, and his/her mannerism. I mean, I would literally spaced-out. So I have a vivid imagination – a fecundity of imagination!

But after being in my “do nothing” box I would come out of it recuperated, re-energised, and strengthen physically, emotionally, and spiritually to go on living! There were umpteen times when I received great inspiration to write, to think clearly, and to prepare my notes for teaching and preaching! I do get inspiration to write on FB too – maybe too much imagination, cynicism, and just plain boredom too!

“PROVOKING” MY SONS

Just as the title suggests I do love to do that especially after a hard day of meetings and dealing with people. Just let you in on a secret: every pastor dread dealing with the sheep – correcting them and disciplining them. It’s not easy and not rewarding too! We are dealing with sheep who choose to be part of your flock and can disappear somewhere else in a moment’s notice. We dread the fact that a sheep would leave the flock out of correction and discipline. It’s always not a nice feeling. And working with the sheep (all volunteers) are so different than working with employees in a secular firm. In the world, as a boss you have the last say because the employee knows that he needed the salary at the end of the month but in the church there’s no such pressure. So the sheep can just disappear or worse still they can turn round and bite you!

Back to the story of my children. After a hard day’s work I love to relax. My relaxation was to play with my children. Of course I don’t do that now because my sons were all adults now, bigger in size, and stronger than me. When they were little I love to squeeze them (more like trying to squash then), tickled them, and catch hold of one of their legs.  I remember my boys trying to break free and I would just pretend to sleep but my hand would gripped the leg firmly and tightly. They would be turning and twisting trying to get free and I would keep pretending. It was fun for a while until they burst out in tears. Then the game was over. Mom would scold me. The boys would be whimpering away in the corner of the room. And I would be feeling satisfied that my stress had been released but at the same time feeling guilty that I made them cry. These would go on day after day. What a dad I am! Ha-ha.

Well, I would get out from the bed and go to them and apologized profusely and said that I love them very much. I would embraced them and kiss them nicely until they actually melt in my arms. So, the next day, the process starts again. This dad never learned, really!

But I don’t do that with my daughter – she’s too delicate. In fact, I had never caned her even once. She was no angel, but she’s a girl so I was too soft in my heart to cane her. Maybe that’s why she still gets what she wants even today! Daddy got a soft spot for her I guess.

SWEET MONDAY

Mondays are the best days for stressed-out pastors. I looked forward to Monday day-off because that’s the day I can do anything “non-church” and not feel strange. So one of the things that I do was to sleep in. Oh…I love those beautiful sleep – waking up at 12 noon on Monday is sublime, exquisite, and “revengeful”. After shower and lunch I would sit in front of my computer and (certainly not preparing sermons or anything spiritual) watch movies and TV Series. In the evening I would scoot off to the mall and enjoy my “do-nothing” routine exercise. What a day? Mondays were only interrupted when my wife wanted something or wanted to go somewhere.

One of my buddy did suggest to people that I have an endless supply of HD / Blue-ray movie downloads – no need to buy from the shop or wait for it to come on Astro! That’s seditious. I should file a complaint with the IGP and get that buddy of mine on a sedition charge – it sound like I have lots of downloads, it looks like I have given them lots of downloaded movies, but it’s not me, certainly, not me!

Many times I would do lunch with my buddies too. We called ourselves the “Five Wise Guys” or “Char Sio Bak Guys”. Usually we would end up singing the blues – about church, family, the country and whatever! It’s a never ending story, I mean, every time we meet there seems to more juicy news, spicy complaints, and Ajinomoto (MSG) added to the story. It’s perpetual. But in spite of it all we do have some wonderful times bantering at each another with such felicity at the expense of others.

Usually these same “Wise Guys” would turned up at my house after 10 pm for supper. And the story continues! Well, that’s many of the Mondays over the years!

NEVER ASK YOUR WIFE FOR AN OPINION IF YOU CAN’T TAKE A BULLET

One of the many, many task of a pastor is preaching assignment. For some, especially those with the gift of the gap, it is quite an easy task. I mean the task is easy but whether the delivery has satisfactory result is another thing altogether. But I can say with confident that many pastors would find it stressful to prepare a sermon and even more challenging in delivering a sermon. Even until today (after more than 20 years standing behind the pulpit) I can still experience butterfly in my stomach before I go up the pulpit.

One of my life’s painful lessons is to ask my wife about my preaching. While I may have accolades of praises after the service about how excellent my sermon was my wife never failed to give me the most down-to-earth comments – say it as it is! She’s brutal most of the time, “sadistic,” I think, on my sermon at times, and certainly in my face as I should hear it. I hated asking her opinion but I can’t resist the temptation of desperately hoping to hear a compliment. Yes, she does give positive feedback but always with a caveat – should have said this, shouldn't have mentioned that, blah, blah, blah. But you know, it’s painful. And honestly, I would love to bathe in the praises of people who come around and pat my back of a job well done! But again I would come away from her comments (sometimes tearing apart my sermons) stronger when I realized that she was just been honest – just the way God wired her! After all I cannot fault her theology too because she’s impeccable in that area. On top of that she lived it too! One of her comment was that I didn't practiced what I preached! Ouch….

One of the things that I love about my late wife was the tenacity of her faith. I am not saying that she’s the only one because I know of many wives in the church who are tenacious in their faith and I salute them. Guys need to grow up in this department, I think! So armed with tenacity my wife would stand firm and does not allow circumstances or situations to hold her hostage! And in dealing with me and her children she followed strictly her values and ethical stand. There were times that she saw me doing things that are not correct and she would not hesitate to let me know. Most of the time she would allowed for me to ask her first about certain thing but if I don’t she would come out and state her stand clearly and firmly. I love her for that. In the beginning I was too proud to recognize it but later on in marriage I truly treasured her opinion, her contributions, and her ideas about ministry, work, family, and life.

So guys, ask your wife for her opinion and take the bullet like a gentleman!