FATHERS, LEARN CREATIVELY

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 - And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Mentoring & Coaching

Fathers must learn to use creativity in their mentoring and coaching. Fathers – we are told to repeat the word of God to our children. The bible tells us to talk to them when we are at home. And even when we are away from home we still need to leave behind godly instructions for them to remember. Spend time lying down next to them before they go to bed and talk to them about God and pray for them. And early in the morning speak the word of God to them. Don’t spend time scolding and reprimanding. Don’t strut like a big boss waiting to be served. Show them what it means to be godly and to remember all the goodness of God. Encourage our children to do well in education and to do well in serving God. We must be the source of encouragement, the source of security and the source of strength for our children. Learning is more than just cognitive teaching. There must be life application. Our children learn through mentoring, coaching and, apprenticeship. There must develop a father and son (daughter) relationship.

There are several ways of learning I found useful over the years:

1.  Friendship is important. This is where fathers learn to listen to them and to their fears, their struggles, and maybe their concerns. Friendship is also seen in learning to do things together especially things we like to do – playing football, watching world cup together and engage in meaningful conversation. 

2.   Have Family Altar - gather together to read the bible with some explanation. Then pray for one another and also for needs that we know of – church needs, people who are sick and going through difficulties. Pray consistently for missionaries too.

3.   Take our children through history lessons – not about Hung Tuah or some famous men but taking them back to our roots, our past and history about our family. They will appreciative of how we grew up – the kind of stuff that we do when we were young. Take them to the place where we grew up and from there tell stories. At special occasions gather the family together and remind them about our past and how God has been so good.

4.  Be transparent - sharing of fears, struggles, passion, calling and victories. In our Asian context, most fathers would not like to let down our guard and let our children sees our weakness. Let’s face it – even if we try to hide it our children knows our weaknesses and failures. There’s no point trying to hide – let us be honest and transparent to our children.  They will appreciate us even more.

Spiritual Training & Education

Spiritual Training and Education is a vital part of our children’s learning process. It is honorable to hold the thought of giving our children the finest education. Our instinct tells us that the secular education for our children will be their survival in the future. This is typically true for Malaysians due mainly to our political landscape and racial polarization. We are so afraid that our children will lose out so we work very hard to give them a good education. I think that is acceptable and reasonable. As Christians we need to have that perspective – one that looks out for their children. But I have an axe to grind with parents who stress secular education as top priority for their children. They have a warped view of the role of education and Christian discipleship. They do not see education as preparing their children for life but instead it’s just survival. Education should be holistic and not just to pass with flying colors in examinations. Education for our children should include Christian education and not just secular subjects alone.

The failure of parents to see discipleship and spiritual nurturing as more important than secular education may be the main cause of their children doing well in colleges and universities in terms of education but become lukewarm in their life of faith. What is the point of producing doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc when more and more of them are bent towards the world than to God? What is the point of our children succeeding in the world according to the world’s standard but failed miserably in upholding Christian values and maintaining upright moral behavior? What sort of legacy do we want to leave for our children? Do we want to leave them with the knowledge that we have provided them with the finest education but no spiritual heritage for them to hold onto when they face the harsh reality of an unkind and cruel world? Do we want to just leave them with the knowledge of the world without the knowledge of God and a vital relationship with Him?

I believe that we need to encourage our children to study hard and to study smart. I believe that we need to expect our children to know the value of education. But I believe we need to teach them lessons of faith; faithfulness to God, faithfulness in serving Him, and faithfulness of uprightness. I believe that we need to educate our children “to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God (Micah 6:8).”

What is the Life Application then? I believe it is the duty and responsibility of parents in the following areas: (1) Modeling to our children what it means to love the Lord with all our lives and one another as Jesus loves us. (2) Encouraging them to be involved in the Lord’s work (we need to be involved too!). (3) Challenging them to take time to study God’s word – discipleship courses and/or Bible study courses. (4) Motivate then to participate in short-term mission work. (5) Insisting that they put God first and learn to trust Him as they put their heart and mind into their studies.  

FATHERS, LISTEN ATTENTIVELY

Deuteronomy 6:4 - “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one” (ESV).

Fathers need to listen to God and teach his children how to hear from God. There are Truths that need to be transmitted to our children. It is not enough to send them to Sunday school though it is important but not enough.

Hearing God’s Truth

As fathers, we should not get caught up in our work and play and just give a token of our time to spiritual discipline. We would not be able to lead our family well unless we keep our ears open and learn to hear from God. Hearing the voice of God for ourselves and our families is vitally important. Here Moses instructed the people to listen carefully and attentively – there is only one God and one Lord. That’s the very foundation for any successful nation, community and home to survive – there is only one God. Your sons and daughter need to hear that and know that and have that embedded in the very foundation of their worldview since day one!!

We must pass to them the FAITH in the one true God. We know that there are many ideologies – many views being presented in the world today – if we are not careful – they will swallow our children. Like the children of Israel about to go into Canaan land Moses knows that they are many enemies of the soul –deceptions, wrong ideologies, and paganism.

Transmitting God’s Truth

If you don’t take up the responsibility of imparting truths to your children the world is ever ready to feed them with every wrong ideas and views from the very pit of hell. They are many voices today seeking our children’s attention. Do not let the world teach and educate our children. Do not let TV, Movies, Internet and Music teach our children about life. They are worldly, rebellious, and immoral and will lead our children astray. What is that one thing you want to hear from your children when they grow up? 

FATHERS, LOVE UNRESERVEDLY

We need to love our children UNRESERVEDLY! Deuteronomy 6:5 has this to say:“Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength”

Fathers, we need to model love through our personal life – our conduct, attitude, and actions. Firstly, is to love God with everything that is within us. We need to model loving God for our children. We need to have passion for God and not for worldly things. They will follow us whichever way we live. We show our children our faith by the measure of our love for God. If we love other things we become idolatrous. The scripture says that where our treasure is there will our hearts be also. It means that if we treasure our career, our money and possession, our pleasure and passion, we would pour all our time and effort into it. Our children will learn that from us. We need to model our love for God. We need to show them that loving God is top priority - the most important thing in life. Let us transfer godly values to our children by showing them that loving God with all our heart, soul and mind is more important that what money, fame and pleasure can give us.

Secondly, is to love the Word of God – the way to true living! Psalm 119:9-11 - How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

Thirdly, is to love others. When we show love to others it can be seen. Such kindness, generosity, and attitude of love would be like putting a good handle in the hands of our children and they will grow up to love others too, in fact, very easily and very spontaneously.

Fathers need to model faithfulness in our marriage. Advice to fathers: None of us can claim that our marriage is always so wonderful. There were times when we struggle through our relationships. But no matter how tough it may be we should never succumbed to any temptation to walk out of it, to be unfaithful, or to be fall into sin. In a world of so much brokenness there is a need for us believers to model a stable marriage, a stable family by working out our differences and allowing God to be the center of our lives and marriage.

Fathers need to model integrity in our workplace. Proverbs 11:3 - The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them. In all our dealings, our work, and career development INTEGRITY is the most important commodity to have. Crookedness of our dealings and behaviors will ultimately destroy us. Fathers need to bear in mind that when we let integrity leads us and guides us we will do well and will walk securely. Proverbs 10:9 tells us that “whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.”

CULTURAL SEISMIC SHIFT

“Who knew that a funny little word like Google would play such a big role in our culture’s seismic shift from local to global? Due in large part to the Internet and other media, people have 24/7 access to images, ideas, and information – all of which shape their lives and lead them either toward God and community or self-centeredness and isolation.” – Jonathan Morrow, Think Christianly, p.17

This could be scary as well as intimidating. We are living in a time where more and more people are having access to images, ideas, and information 24/7 – at the click of the button on the computer or a touch on the screen of the smart phone. While some are excited with the global connectivity and interactivity many have no idea the far-reaching ramifications.

Just give you one scenario: a student can get up from the dinner table and in seconds be face-to-face with all the pain, poverty, and suffering in the world on her laptop and wonder why nothing is ever said about this on a Sunday morning. Does God not care? Does Christianity have nothing to say or offer?

How about this? A curious, tech-savvy twelve-year old can find out about any religion in the world from her iPhone. She wonders to herself, “How do I know which one is true? [If any of them are true at all.] If I grew up in India, wouldn’t I have been a Hindu?”

I believe the church has to come to grips with the changing trend, come to grips with the changing world. It is not enough to be status-quo. We need the Holy Spirit, yes and absolutely true. We need the manifestation of the power of God. But we need to be equipped – the readiness to give an answer for the hope that is in us. We need to take positive steps to understand the changing culture and trend in order to be relevant.

Let me quote Jonathan Morrow again: “As society strains under the collective weight of pluralism and secularism and is deeply divided along worldview lines (not just political or socioeconomic ones), we need to think Christianly about all of life and seize the opportunities we have as Everyday Ambassadors to speak and embody the eternal kind of life Jesus offers to our culture. Tragically, many of these cultural moments pass us by unclaimed – either because we don’t notice them or haven’t adequately prepared ourselves to engage them.”

Jonathan Morrow, Think Christianly, Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan, US, 1978

THAT WHICH WE TREASURED MOST

How many of us equate blessings with material gifts and financial provision? It is natural to equate, isn’t it? And I am not denying the fact that the blessings of the Lord have to do with his provision; it has to do with material blessings, financial provision, healing and divine health. And I am glad and blessed to know that God has been good to me and my family all these years, and more so the last two years!

But I would like to see the blessings of the Lord as his divine strength and enablement to serve him and glorify his name. It is an awesome thing to be able to partner with God in the fulfilment of his grand story – to build the City of God, to establish the Kingdom of God, and to usher in the glory of the Majesty on High. I count it an honour and a privilege to have received the call of God about 38 years ago – a call to serve him, a call to partner with him, and a call to journey with him. It has been an adventurous journey of faith – a journey full of surprises but also a journey of faith, hope and love. It has not always been easy. It has not always gone the way I anticipated it to be. It has also not gone the way God wanted me to walk, and the many times that he has to redirect me back to his ways.

Such blessing cannot be quantified. Such blessing is far better than silver or gold. To know that God had a plan and a purpose for your life and that you are walking in it is the greatest blessing a man could ever asked for. Looking back at my life I can come to a simple conclusion: there are things that are more important to keep and to treasure than what the world has to offer – all the grandeur, and all the accolades, and all the so-called success!

Let me list some of the things that I am beginning to treasure –

ONE: PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS - family who walks with me throughout life’s journey – my wife and my children, my brothers and sisters, and the extended family. Relationship becomes precious. There has been times that I took for granted my relationship with my wife; couldn’t see her beyond a helpmate (or house maid!), a spouse (waiting on you – washing, cooking, and cleaning) BUT my very own flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone! Just recently….just recently (you know what I mean…). Never again will I take my wife and children for granted! Never again will I take my friends, brothers and sisters in the Lord for granted!

TWO: PRESENCE OF GOD - the glimpse of the glory of God through my daily devotion, through my daily obedience, and through my daily task of serving him – the King of kings and the Lord of lords. It has been an awesome 28 years of full-time service and still going. I must admit that there were many times I had thoughts that crossed my mind about quitting BUT the strength in going on for him is the glory of God that shines through those depressing moments.

What are those moments? It was those times when I saw lives been changed and transformed by the power of God. It was those times when I saw the miraculous hand of God working out the impossible things. It was those times when I was able to gazed into his presence and felt his love and warm embrace. It was those times when I experienced the grace of God in the midst of depression, sickness, and suffering. It was those times when I saw the mercies of God displayed without restrained when I fell into sin –pride, rebellion, and independence – and failed him!

Never again will I take for granted the presence of God! Never again will I make the grace of God a thing to be trampled upon! Never again will I make the mercies of God cheap! I will not take for granted the glory of God – the light of his love – and be careful how I walk and how I live!

THREE: PRECIOUS WORD OF GOD. Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. We need the Word- Jesus, the Living Word. We need the Word – the Scriptures, the written Word of God. Let’s see what the Word of God can do for us!!

Psalm 119:1-8 - Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord! 2 Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart, 3 who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways! 4 You have commanded your precepts to be kept diligently. 5 Oh that my ways may be steadfast in keeping your statutes! 6 Then I shall not be put to shame, having my eyes fixed on all your commandments. 7 I will praise you with an upright heart, when I learn your righteous rules.  8 I will keep your statutes; do not utterly forsake me!

In this text we can learn THREE important principles about the Word of God: (1) Seeking His Word (Verses 1-3). We are encouraged to walk blamelessly in the law of the Lord, to keep our testimonies as a follower of Christ, and to seek God with our whole heart. (2) Keeping His word (Verses 4-6). What must we do to keep his Word? We must keep it with diligence. We must keep it with steadfastness. We must keep it in focus. (3) Learning His Word (Verses 7-8). We are called to learn the righteous rules of God, and his statutes.

TO NOT THINK IS UNTHINKABLE

My most difficult pill to swallow in the midst of my brethren is that constant mentioning of the “ugly” word THEOLOGY; the fact that it’s not as important as the matter of the heart just because it is a matter of the mind. I think we gave no respect for God to think this way. I have often challenged this assumption. I always believe that the head and the heart must be given equal importance. For heaven’s sake, go on and rant for all you want about using your heart in your relationship with God, just don’t turn round and take a pot-shot at your thinking mind and deem it unimportant in comparison to the matters of the heart. To not think is unthinkable. An unexamined life is not worth living.  

After six years of study: reflecting deeply and critically on theology, missions, and pastoral issues, I found that I have had a major shift in my theological outlook of life, the church, and the world. I no longer could go along with many of the things that Charismatic-Pentecostal Evangelical stands for. It is not that I have stopped believing in the miraculous, speaking in tongues, and faith but I think I have stopped putting it on the pedestal. Some things that I have taken the time to reflect; going back to the very roots of Christianity and found it to be rich but are no longer held dear in present day evangelical anymore.

My intense love for literature – Christian literature, philosophy, and history has altered my worldview substantially and I found so much superficiality in our church today. People are not willing to go deep and explore. People are afraid of difficult questions.

The six years of study also caused me to get more frustrated with the church as a whole than I ever was before. I came to a conclusion that we have come to a point in our church history where we are “holding the fort for Jesus is coming back” and we are a need-oriented church. The credibility gap of the church and the world at large is so deep and wide. No matter what we say or how we say it we are irrelevant to the world today because we can never put our house in order. We are stuck in our worldview; we must not offend, we must be apolitical, we must be tolerant, we must be accommodative, and worse of all is that we must BE SIMPLE because all those who come to church are simple people. Hello!! People are fed with information at a supersonic speed then those 20 years ago. If the church doesn’t come up with any affirmative answer (without the spiritual dressing) our people are being “brainwash” through the tons of information coming through the internet!!

Today, I found myself to have actually drifted away from the emotional, feel good, encounter-God tradition that I came from to pursue the life of the mind – to develop a habit of the mind to think clearly and rationally on issues that affects me, the church, and the world. Well….that’s me again thinking aloud. I could no longer take any pronouncements (spiritual statements, prophetic utterances, and supernatural testimonies) without challenging their assumptions, their definition, and the ramifications of it all. For example, if you tell me that we are on a threshold of a breakthrough which is one of the favourite of all times in the charismatic brand of churches you will have to qualify it, explain it, and I need to know how you come to such a conclusion and what its ramifications would be to me.

RACISM IS SO YESTERDAY

Romans 12:17-19 - Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but [rather] give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance [is] Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.

How many of us feel frustrated, uneasy, and violated in the last couple of weeks during the run-up to our country’s 13^th General Election? I am not opining about any political party because I am non-partisan. I am not criticizing our politicians. But don’t you think that it is so easy to want to take sides, so easy to want to point a finger, and so easy to want to make judgments? I have to be honest that I do have the great temptation to be upset, and to make statements that may be strong or even unchristian-like!

When we have so much news (both mainstream and alternative) thrown in our face, endless opinions and write-ups by partisan, self-styled political analysts, and  hordes of Facebook posts that it becomes increasingly so difficult, almost impossible, to sieve through the truth, the half-truths, the gossips, and the lies. It is quite impossible to be objective. Someone said that when we tell a lie long enough it becomes a truth! Just a case in view: the night when we were all glued to the TV waiting anxiously for the results of the GE13 there were so many posts from Facebook that we were literally taken on a roller-coaster ride as to what are trustworthy news. There were so many views, so many reports that came in so much so that after a while we were having information overload. That’s where it started to get blurred; difficult to decipher through the good, the bad and the ugly. We were so emotional because we do have certain expectations, certain hopes for certain things to happen.

Whatever our feelings, we need to come to this basic premise: how we respond to given news should not be dependent upon our emotions and our preferences but rather how the Word of God wants us to respond. Paul was living in the same political scenario; similar pagan and immoral society as we live in today. He was placed in a very precarious position and he has to live his Christian faith in the midst of an oppressive Roman rule that is not only corrupt but also sensual, cruel, and immoral.

So likewise, in our day and time, we need to take heed to what Paul said in Romans 12. He exhorts us to not pay evil for evil, meaning, not to scheme revenge, not to have the thought of a tit-for-tat, an “eye for an eye.” We are to walk in the opposite spirit. We are to take the high road of humility; to see the good even in the midst of evil, to have high regard for things that are good. But truly, the bottom-line is to be a peacemaker – live peaceably with all men.

There may be some in our beloved country trying to take us down the road of racism and we have to rise up and say NO. There are those among us who would like to categorize people so that they can take control and we have to stand our ground for justice, for fairness, and for kingdom principles. But still we need to be peacemakers rather than be the one who is offended and hurt, hurling back insults, spewing out hateful venom and in the process destroying our Christian testimony. I am sure some of us are guilty of saying things rather harshly because of some of the irresponsible statements from people in authority. In our hearts we felt disdain that these people should have known better than spewing out such irresponsible statements. We love this country; we believed that we are called to be here in this generation (an honorable passion) and we want to be seen as patriotic. We are made to feel that some of our country’s leaders want to box us in and to categorize us as “second-class”, ungrateful and not loyal. But just when we show signs of patriotism we are cautioned not to bet our luck on nationalism because it is only reserved for a particular race. Nationalism is monopolized by one race. Other races are disenfranchised. Let me reiterate: I am just saying out loud that we are made to feel this way!

Let me conclude: pray for our country, love our country, and always be a peacemaker. Let us love our neighbors as ourselves. The children of God are red and yellow, black and white. Our nation is multi-cultural, multi-lingual, and multi-religious – beautiful and wonderful. We can live in unity in the midst of diversity. Let us live as God’s children. Let us let our lights shine. Let us make a difference in our nation by being peacemakers – and in all times, be peacemakers! Racism is so yesterday!

INTRODUCTION

Hi everyone out there. I have decided to create a new blog for myself. It's time for me to write my thoughts. Everything that I write in this blog is my own thoughts and you are free to disagree.